9/15 THURS

Busses & trains. Lots of goodbyes. It hurts to say goodbye to these people, it’s too soon. But at least I won’t get tired of them, as I would’ve had we been together for too long a time instead of too short.

Jason may come down next WED & THURS.

Avi, Willameijn (Vitamin) may come down sometime next week also.

I got my first twinge of homesickness today. I had some time alone, and I really started thinking. It wasn’t bad (meaning, it wasn’t lots of longing or anything), but it took me by surprise. I started missing people, but 5 mins later it was gone.

It shows me that I’m human.

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I almost started crying at dinner. Melancholy & longing for my orientation friends brought it on.

God! Just watching them at dinner almost made me sick. I didn’t notice it before, but it seems to be a “who-can-smack-their-lips-the-loudest” and “spray-food-everywhere” contest. My dad’s the worst of the bunch. I just wanted to slap him and yell “Chew with your mouth closed!” Barbarians. Heathens.

Oh good. Now he’s smoking one of those Tunisian camel-shit cigarettes. It smells up the entire house, and sends him into unbelievable coughing fits!

I hate this place!

Actually, I don’t. Calm down, Jason. Think. Take deep breaths. Anxiety attack. Don’t let it get you down. Pull up, don’t dive bomb yet. Ok, relax.
Writing seems to be helping.

It still gets to me, though. When they laugh when I try to speak Arabic, and when they talk about me in Arabic at the table, I can understand a little, and the language is a mixture of French & A., so … it really hurts.

I need a hug.